Back in December, I wrote a review of a product called ‘Cue Sauce. To make a long story short, that sauce was definitely one of the worst things I have tried since taking on this reviewing gig. Not that I actually sample a lot of awful products, mind you, but ‘Cue Sauce’s Original recipe is easily at the bottom of the “Things I Would Put on My Food” list. However, I’m a fair man, and I believe that everyone gets a clean slate with each new review, which is why I’m going into this review of ‘Cue Sauce’s Jalapeno variety with the same hopes and dreams I had for the Original. Maybe something was just missing from that one, and the Jalapeno sauce is able to fill that void. Let’s hope so.
Brown Sugar, Worcestershire Sauce (distilled white vinegar, molasses, water, sugar, onions, anchovies, salt, garlic, cloves, tamarind extract, natural flavorings, chili pepper extract), Distilled White Vinegar, Molasses, Salted Butter (pasteurized cream, salt), Maple Syrup, Artificial Smoke Flavor, Chili Powder, Cayenne Pepper, Jalapeno Powder
Well, maybe not. The only real difference between this list and the list from the Original sauce is the addition of Jalapeno Powder, tacked on right there at the end. That’s right: jalapeno powder. No whole jalapenos, no jalapeno puree, no jalapeno mash. Just the powder, and not in any concentration that will likely allow it to make a huge difference. Oh boy.
As before, ‘Cue Sauce Jalapeno continues the tradition of being deep, deep brown. This sauce is so dark that it is almost black, actually, and really does remind me a lot of tar, at least in terms of color, which isn’t appetizing at all. The consistency, thankfully, isn’t quite at tar levels, though it’s worth noting that this sauce has a bad habit of separating from itself. Shake well.
Smell and Taste:
This one smells a little sweet, just like its predecessor, though there is just the tiniest bit of peppery spice to it. The flavor, though, is the same story. If you can imagine molasses with just the faintest hint of jalapeno flavor sprinkled into it, you’ll get the idea.
‘Cue Sauce’s Jalapeno variety does have a slight kick, just like the Original, so I’m giving it a Medium. Also like before, though, this sauce just doesn’t do it for me at all. The lack of tomato flavor here is really just a turn-off for this reviewer, as is the absence of any real attempt to make this variety stand out from the Original flavor. Seriously, you think the way to make a brand new product is to slap a single ingredient on the end of the list of the original variety? There’s a whole lot of innovation happening in the sauce world, but not here. This one’s another Nauseating. Stay away.
If you happen to wind up with a bottle, it could be a nice paperweight, or a gift for someone you just don’t like.
That’s about enough “professionalism.” I’m done with this brand. My tastebuds are about to try me at The Hague for war crimes.