Happy New Year folks! As promised, this is a very special product for the 1st day of the new year. I’d apologize for missing last week, but it was Christmas, & I had a bit too much eggnog… This week, however, I thought ahead & wrote this review Friday. I’m getting New Year hammered tonight, so as you’re reading this on Scroturday, you can ponder where I am, if I’m dead, & if not, what bed I shall be crawling out of. (Note: the word bed encompasses beds, streets, dumpsters, drunk tanks, & truck beds)
Anyway, on to Heartbreaking Dawn’s 1498 Trinidad Scorpion Sauce which, to my knowledge, is the first widely available hot sauce predominantly featuring the Trinidad Scorpion Pepper! (I Googled a bit, and couldn’t find any others either) What a way to ring in the new year!
Trinidad Scorpion Peppers, Scotch Bonnet Peppers, Cider Vinegar, Apricot Preserves, Water, Blueberries, Carrots, Honey, Onion, Soy Sauce, Sea Salt, Garlic, Ginger, White Pepper
First in the appearance category, I’d like to tell you about the bottle. Unfortunately, since the bottle I got was so new, there’s no label, so I went and got a label from Heartbreaking Dawns, which I threw up here for yall! The artwork is primarily black and white, and morbidly awesome, the sort of morbidly awesome I’d probably get in a tattoo. You have a skeleton drinking either blood or 1498 sauce, with the red goop falling through his jaw onto a rather attractive woman. I like the cleverness behind the ‘1498’ name for the sauce, which is the year Christopher Columbus first landed on the island that is modern-day Trinidad. Back to my bottle, whose contents are as red as blood, but a spicy blood. Contained inside is what appears to be flecks of pepper, seed, and mash, a balance that looks like it gives flavor and texture, but maintains a lower viscosity than blood, and actually flows.
I’ll be honest, at first I was scared of this bottle. Well, not scared, but a little nervous, and with good reason. Many of you may have heard of my last messy encounter with a Trinidad Scorpion pepper, which required a nasal dose of cheesecake on a stick. Well, here goes nothing. I pulled off the plastic seal and pull off the cap. I’m greeted by a smell which, from memory alone, actually makes me queasy. Mind you that’s not the sauce, that’s my former experience with the pepper. The best way I can describe the scent of this sauce is a robust kick in your nose testicles. This stuff smells GOOD. On to the actual sampling of the sauce. Wow. I’m kicked in the teeth with the piquancy of the Trinidad Scorpion pepper, but it has the best offset I’ve ever tasted in a hot sauce; the apricot preserves and other fruits and veggies come together to give it a taste that hints of warm jelly with the kick of a good hot sauce. Now I’m not a fan of fruit flavored sauces, and this still tastes amazing to me: that’s saying something. I’m going to go ahead and give the sauce the highest marks in both categories, a Notable in flavor, and a meltdown in the fire category.